Who will be the semi-solid stool in Brett Ratner’s latest cinematic diarrhea? (Pajiba)
Katherine Heigl gets ready to sneak up behind the metaphorical bull with hemorrhoids and smack it on the testicles. Sold! (Websters)
Janet Jackson requires an industrial-strength steel girdle to keep her gut in check. (Hollywood Rag)
The Tranny Spice Girls Pussycat Dolls class it up for the Vodafone Music Awards. (The Bastardly)
Another Pamela Anderson sex tape? I’m guessing it takes place in the cab of a big rig or a Mapco shitter. (CelebSmack)
Kim Kardashian gives the tensile strength of spandex a run for its money. (Dirty Rotten Whore)
Ryan O’Neal and his son bond over a little meth. (Derek Hail)
Looks like Mischa Barton might be a cutter! (Ninja Dude)
Mary-Kate and Ashley break up! (MollyGood)
Sarah Jessica Parker gets bangs — and it blows. (Holy Moly)
Mischa Barton’s entire tit falls out. AGAIN. (CelebNewsWire)
Sarah’s taking the reigns on Monday, so I’ll see you snarky bastards Tuesday! And remember — crack kills. As do coyotes. So don’t go petting any, dummies! xoxo Abby
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